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Submitted on
July 30, 2012
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With our heart in a fierce beat ,
We'll dance together on the empty street.
With your shallow breathing against my head,
We'll sway along to words unsaid.
When you look in my eye,
I know, it's time to say goodbye,

But will you grant me one last wish?
To Hold me in your arms,
And Sing me a sweet lullaby,
To let me drown in your melodic voice for one last time,
And Let me dream of a place where you are mine.

To let the tune wash away my pain,
For I want to relive that moment once again,
When you and I first met each other
And to prove to myself, that there can be no another,
Who could ever take your place.
And our moments spent together, 
I'd do anything to retrace.
I am deeply sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me but I needed to post something. It's been so long that I posted something. I suck. :facepalm:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
honestly speaking, this work did feel... personal... the first stanza and last stanza in particular were well written to be honest with you.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You're a really good writer. This work's a bit on the emotional side, no doubt, but it isn't bad writing at all. Its honest, its very sincere - its certainly put a lot of effort in establishing a sense of... two people lost in each other's company... something heartfelt in that moment honestly, which makes it all the more worthwhile to read.

I mention all this, because I - no matter how bitter or cynical I come out - tend to be a romantic at heart and so I like works which are by nature romantic.

Well written honestly. Keep writing :)
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:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you liked it! :) 

we're all hopelessly romantic, just that our definition of 'romance' varies. To each their own. :)

thank you! :)
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I truly did :la:

Romance huh... You won't mind me if I shared a note with you about what I believe is romantic, would you? (and in essence, we just talk about it in general)

Anytime :)
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:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Alright! :)
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) I sent you the note. you're not under any obligation to respond - if you do so, however, I'd be genuinely grateful. I mean it.
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:icondarkwolf65:
darkwolf65 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you this poem has helped in many ways thank you for this poem
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:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know how, but I'm really glad it did. :hug: ^^;
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:iconisahrishs:
isahrishs Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Student General Artist
i read it again and im going to rephrase my comment. it BEAUTIFULLY written!! :D
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:iconslipcast-chrysalism:
slipcast-chrysalism Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha! Aww! Thank you so much! :heart:
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:iconisahrishs:
isahrishs Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2012  Student General Artist
You're most welcome :heart:
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